Marriage is the most satisfying, most strengthening and most lasting human relationship on this Earth, an illustration of God’s relationship with Man! Marriage ought to be more than just sex or friendship and certainly more than a mere business partnership!–It is intended by the Lord to be the most intimate, humbling, loving and self-sacrificial relationship between human beings!
Marriages, it has been said, are made in Heaven, but the maintenance is done down here! More important than how much two people love each other or how happy they are BEFORE their wedding, is how well they talk and share and work out their problems AFTERWARDS!–And how much time and effort and self-sacrifice they’re prepared to put into their marriage to make it work!
Here we’d like to share some tried and proven tips, some “Do’s” and “Don’ts” of marriage that we pray will help you and your mate avoid some of the common pitfalls, so you can grow together in love!
THE “DO’S” (of a Happy Marriage)!
INVEST TIME, attention and love in making your relationship work, or you may lose it!
Treat all disasters as incidents, and none of the incidents as disasters!
When you feel there’s something bothering your mate, lovingly probe and get them to talk it over with you.
Share your innermost feelings with each other, but temper your honesty with wisdom to avoid hurting each other’s feelings!
Be sensitive to each other’s needs and try to fulfil them if you can!
Say “I love you!” 100 times a day!
Spend time with your children TOGETHER!
Pray and discuss together about your children’s needs, and be united about their discipline!
Kiss each other hello and goodbye!
Always say “please” and “thank you” to each other!
Make yourself beautiful/handsome for each other!
Wear perfume/cologne or aftershave all the time!
Husbands, compliment her! Tell her she’s beautiful and she’ll BE beautiful! Tell her she’s wonderful and she’ll BE wonderful!
Husbands, don’t forget to say, “I love you!” Words can sometimes do more for a woman than anything else!–Especially when they’re spoken with love, tenderness, meaning and sincerity!
Start the day with a kiss and cuddle!
Make love regularly! If you need sex, ASK for it!–Sexily! Wives, dress up in something sexy for him before lovemaking! Dress excitingly for exciting times!
Be expressive in lovemaking! Set the scene with soft lights and music!
Massaging is marvellous, a touch of Heaven from your Heavenly touch!
Husbands, if you want her to be dynamite in bed, you’ll have to light the fuse!
Wives, dress in what HE likes, not only what YOU like!
Be affectionate in public and private!
Compliment each other. Constantly tell your mate how thankful you are for them and how wonderful they are!
Call each other sweet names!
Write each other little love notes of appreciation!
Surprise each other with little love gifts and treats, like flowers etc.!
Do little favours for each other to make one another’s life and work easier!
Husbands, tidy up after yourself and try to make her job easier!
Husbands, volunteer for odd jobs, don’t expect her to do everything in the house all the time!
Tell him/her that they’re beautiful/handsome often and what things you especially like about them!
Make a point to say nice things about your mate to others in front of your mate, and also when he or she is not present!
Listen to each other’s suggestions and advice!
Remind yourself of all the GOOD qualities of your mate and try not to think about the bad ones. Pray to see the good in each other!
Have faith that the Lord can change your mate’s faults and weaknesses. Commit them to the Lord!
Remember to avoid doing things you know annoy each other!
If you want to have the last word, apologise!
Make up quickly after arguments. Pray together for the victory, especially in the middle of a disagreement.
Say “I love you, you rascal”, when you’ve had a fight or argument. It helps break the ice!
During times of marriage problems, make it a point to be alone with just each other–no problems to tend to, no work and no kids. Have a special meal together at home, just the two of you!
Go out together sometimes for the extra romance and the time alone with each other and the Lord!
Show interest in one another’s projects and work!
Show love and affection even if you don’t feel like it!
Learn to be aware of his/her “signals”–insinuations, hints, needs!
ASK what your mate likes and dislikes or what bothers him/her!
Be sure to respond to and return affection!
Pray and read the Bible together.
Put God’s will and His work first!
THE “DON’TS” (of a Happy Marriage)!
Don’t judge your wife too harshly for her weaknesses! If she didn’t have them, chances are she wouldn’t have married YOU!
Don’t think about all the things your partner is or isn’t doing for the relationship. Focus on what YOU can do to make it better!
Don’t dwell on the past or any past failures or mistakes or offenses by your partner or in your relationship.
Never say, “You ALWAYS do this or that wrong” or “You’ll NEVER change!”
Don’t hold grudges!
Don’t hide your feelings or trials from each other.–For example, if you are offended or have misunderstood something the other one has said or done. Bringing things out in the open will help resolve them!
Don’t nag–watch your tone of voice. Write “reminder” love notes instead.
Don’t raise your voice unnecessarily!
Don’t answer back hastily!–Think and pray before you answer!
Don’t take out your frustrations on each other!
Don’t try to make your mate “conform” to your “image” of what he or she should be!
Don’t be persistent in asking questions when the other is busy or not in a good mood!
Don’t talk about problems right before going to sleep!
Don’t stop talking to each other!
Don’t take each other for granted!
Don’t let lovemaking become routine!
Don’t embarrass your mate in public about private matters!
Don’t correct each other in front of others!
Don’t make fun of or belittle each other, especially in front of others!
Don’t be too proud to listen to each other’s suggestions and try them, even if they’re not an expert in that subject.
Never argue, dispute or complain in the presence of children–the damaging effects can last forever!
Don’t show disunity or argue in front of others.
Don’t interrupt each other when talking!
Don’t be too proud to say, “I’m sorry!”
“Don’t let the sun go down upon your wrath”–Ephesians 4:26. Always resolve your differences as soon as they occur, and especially before sleeping!
Don’t go to sleep without kissing good night, praying together, and saying, “I love you!”
FINALLY…Don’t forget that without good communication with JESUS, there cannot be much good communication between YOU! The most important thing in a marriage is for both of you to have faith in Jesus! With faith, everything is possible!–Including a HAPPY MARRIAGE! God bless you!
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